This is probably going to be one of the more important blog entries that I will ever write, and I hope that many of my readers and even those who just pass through will stop, pause, think and get something out of this.

As some of you may have learned –  the kink scene in Toronto, Ontario, Canada and I’m going to even say the world, has lost someone who I feel was an important contributor to the world of rubber and kink however you identify.

Matt of Kink Engineering was, I think, an amazing man in our community.  Sadly, at the age of 35, he passed away accidently doing what he loved – his passion for kink and rubber in his amazingly geeky way.  This is a man who loved what he did and chose to make a life out of it all.

To Archean and the Kink Engineering staff I send much love to all of you.  I can’t even begin to understand the senselessness of the situation.

I met Matt and Archean through KinkDan and had a chance to visit their studio twice.  What an amazing rubber-geek heaven.  Matt was so passionate about what he did, combining engineering, science and kink.  It got me thinking that, “Wow, here is a couple who is not only loving life, but doing what they wanted.  Scared given that they were starting to make a living off of Kink Engineering, but you’ve gotta give it your best shot.”  Just wow.

Matt and Archean also were presenting at the Festival Kinky de Montréal when I presented a CBT seminar, and I am very much smiling over having been put in the famous H. Kitty vac bed they had.  I loved how passionate they were for their kink, and giving people experiences to give it a shot.  Always appreciated and infections.  That helped when I was at a low time in my own kink life.  Thank you for bringing some light to me at that time.

I wish we could have interacted more and I appreciate everything you have done for rubber, kink and the general community.  You will be sadly missed Matt.

 

Hats of to Kink Engineering for being up front and brutally honest about what happened.  While some may criticize, I think you have done a good service to the community – muchos kudos a todos!

Along with Kink Engineering, I am choosing to link to the note that KE posted on their blog because I think it’s important that people know the dangers of experimenting by yourself when it involves breath play, asphyxiation, tying stuff around your neck.

To be clear – I have no idea if Matt was in a solo play situation or testing new equipment for play.  It sounds like the latter.  Either way, hats off to Matt for doing what he loved – and I don’t mean that to take away from the gravity of the situation nor show disrespect to Matt.

I am going to use two key quotes from the blog entry that I think are vital for people to understand.  The second is much later in this post, but the first I will use talked about the biological reactions that happen when the throat is constricted too tight – to quote:

The baro receptors in his internal carotid arteries signaled to his body that his blood pressure was dangerously high, and this sent off a vagal response to slow the heart.  Since the signal of high blood pressure could not be relieved, Matt lost consciousness and the vagal response caused his heart to stop completely.

It is vital to understand the mechanics of the body.

 

For the remainder of this blog entry, I want to address the importance of safety when constricting the neck.  I am not going to cover the ‘hows’, while I have been involved in scenes as a bottom, I do not feel qualified to talk about the ‘hows’ and I know I could use more information.   I am fortunate for the education I already have received over the years in this play, so that I can play that much safer and still have a hot time.

 

I love breath play.

I know I have some majorly deep fantasies about breath play.

There’s nothing like feeling someone else’s arm around my throat as they’re on top of me, fucking me deep, knowing they’re in control, feeling their arm hairs and a cock spasming in me as Sir cums, my cock rock hard as I blow my load, spewing string of cum after string of cum, who knows how violently out of my cock.

Something around my throat to hold me down in a gangster scene.  I’ve been there and it’s fucking hot and scary at the same time.

Feeling the gasket of a rubber vac bed, feeling that tightness around my neck and body as the vacuum sucks down and holds me in place.

Holding my breath in some way when jacking off.

Hell, I’d love to experience being KOed while being fucked and coming through with someone relentlessly fucking my ass in a sling.

I’ve also been KOed unintentionally, in a scene with someone because I relaxed so much.  While it was hot for both of us, I also know it was also potentially scary if for any reason I did not come through.  I also remember the “funky chicken” as I shook when coming through and the slight disorientation not realizing what happened.

Some of these are not practical but it’s hot to fantasize about it and why shouldn’t we be able to fantasize about these kinds of things?

We all know that we shouldn’t do it alone and while it may be hot to put that tourniquet, rope, whatever tool around our throats alone when we jack off – it’s not safe.  We’ve lost too many people in this world that way.

Please, please, please do let someone know what you’re doing so you can be monitored to make sure you are safe.  Even if you’re experienced as Matt was, just let someone know  or have them participate.  If you’re trying something new or experimenting, talk it through with someone and have someone there.  If you can, eroticize having that second person, go for it!

Please do get training if you are interested in learning about how to safely do breath control play or if you’re a bottom and want to understand safety and body reactions.  For example  the trachea could be crushed in a scene gone wrong.

People are doing it, out there, right now.  This is why we need to be able to talk about advanced play scenes – 300 and 400 level play if you will.  Someone has to be able to teach it and there has to be an avenue for this kind of education.  To the people that say there is too much risk in teaching such classes, I think there is too much risk in not disseminating the education.

If you’re cocky, and not saying Matt was, but that’s even more of an alarm to get a refresher.  You could have all the safety equipment in the world – but to quote the KE blog:

Had there been a person to assist outside the vac bed, they would have been able to get him out at the first sign of trouble or non-responsiveness.  All Matt’s safety contingency plans relied on him still being conscious enough to implement them, and thus, they were useless.

I step off my soapbox.

I don’t know if this is an appropriate song or not… it just feels right.