Okay rant time – This is not something new, and maybe I’m just sensitive to this after observing a rather fantastic submissive express their frustration over someone who had made plans and ghosted.

What is it with, presumable, tops and Doms not taking responsibility for their actions, feelings, and ghosting? Now, yes I know this is a universal issue and can also happen to Doms but I want to focus on the top/Doms.

I can appreciate what the stress and pressure to perform can feel like as a Dom, especially when you’re new and green.  Been there, done that, have the confidence scars.

Communicate if you’re nervous.  Nothing wrong with a presumably top or Dom not being comfortable or, hell, taking ownership of mistakes, etc.  Taking responsibility is hot, is a turn on and helps create a learning opportunity.  Swallow your pride – I know I’ve had to, and making mistakes is part of learning.

Communicate!  A good sub, even the green ones will understand where you’re coming from.  Put your trust in that.  If they react poorly then they’re not the sub for you, or there’s a really good lesson to be learned for both, or both of these.

It’s one of the reasons why, when I make a commitment to a sub, I follow through and make damn sure I follow through.