The Surprise of Body and Rough Boot Play

I have to admit, I’m not much of a masochist and probably less of a sadist.  Take for instance, gut punching.  I’ve had it done to me – and I have, in the past, gone down a rather negative headspace; and I’ve done it to other people – and gotten caught up in the headspace of, “OMG I’m going to hurt this person and I don’t know my own strength.”

Even when playing Rugby, despite my nickname of, “Tampax” during my year in the UK, apparently because I could stop any bleeding cunt.  I hated tackling because I thought it would hurt – LOL  For that you can call me a wimp.

Okay, so that is what I thought.

Imagine my surprise when receiving the first blow to the side from a boot from a 6ft3, redhaired redneck from Oklahoma.  Holy fuck, it felt surprising, it felt scary, it felt good and I want more!  And more I got after being an ottoman, being kicked in the side, the love handles stood on, my back pounded, a boot kicking my nuts, and 270lbs standing on me with a pair of Yak Tracks on.

Watching this man kicking someone else’s ass with those shit kickers, stomping, running the tread down someone’s chest and back… it was heavy and it was sensual.  I was lapping up the vibe, drooling from the scene, and was hard.  If I were a leaker, my 501s would have been drenched.

I knew what I was getting into – I knew I could trust the man as others I am close to have trusted themselves with him – word of mouth and the opinions of those I trust in my community is important to me; and after being a demo bottom for him the previous day in a flogging workshop, I had a good sense of his energy – which is AMAZING!

I didn’t know what I was getting into – admittedly, and in some respects it was a good thing because had I known I would probably be putting up all kinds of blocks and admittedly, I would not have spent five hours after flying with such an endorphin rush.

So maybe I’m not a wimp after all, but this sure as hell was edge play for me and I loved every minute of it.  Watching this man work other people over too, was amazing.  This brought body play and even boot play to a whole different level for me.

This is not something I would engage just anyone with.  For me there has to be that connection that I talked about in a previous entry.

I learned something new about myself through this experience, and I appreciate that opportunity.

Connection and balance makes my dick hard

So there’s been a lot of discussion among some of my friends and online about why people get in to Leather. Some have said, to cut to the chase, essentially because it makes their cock hard, cunt wet, etc…

And I can buy that.

Why did I jump at the opportunity to play with the man who became my Sir and Master? Play with a damn hot man I had fantasized over for 7 years, prior to being collared.

I acknowledge that I have my primal needs – to be used and to cum.

But – I do not believe that is the overriding reason, at least for me. There was a lot more to be offered than just getting my ass fucked, my back marked, and licking boots.

I knew that I was getting into a deeper relationship and one that I will always cherish. I knew that I would grow as a man, and that it would be hard work.

So I would say that, for me, there was a balance between play, personal growth, and human connection.

When I first met Sir, I saw what his first cub and he had from a very brief moment in time at The Toolbox and I said to myself, “I’d really like something like that.”

I craved that alpha-male connection that had been missing in my life and I got more than I bargained for and who knew that what I’ve shared with.

Now that said, when I’ve had cubs or boys in my life – four to date; they know and learn that connection is vital – my interest and their interest would have waned if it wasn’t there.

I’ve had some intense play in those relationships but it’s because the connection that was formed between sub and dom.

When I was in SF in July, I cruised online and had a chance to play with a very hot boot pig Daddy – we had tried to hook up in May but it did not work out.  Yes, I was looking for play as I’m not one for play parties, and I do much better in one on one situations.

What turned out is a budding relationship. Yes I wanted to be at His knees, licking his boots, licking his cod piece and make Him blow His load like anything. But if we didn’t connect during our play, then our play would have been only okay, and I would not have been all that satisfied and would have been craving more from another source.

Connection and balance.

On being recollared

Today, November 28, 2010; I had the honour of being released as Master C’s slave and being accepted and recollared as His boy.

I made the request a month ago after the So You Want to be Kinky seminars, after having a bit of a realization – one that had been coming for a while but I had to face the truth.

In short, being someone’s slave is bloody hard work – whether you’re local or long distance.  Very hard work.  Hey, even being someone’s boy is just as hard work.

But for me, being someone’s slave and personal property was something I needed to go through, to have that experience to really discover my true self and nature.

While I have (and do) identify as a switch and quite proudly so, maybe too proudly; I am primarily more submissive – at this time.

Truth be known, I’ve been having a harder time getting into that deeper headspace that, for my definition of a slave, should have and it was clear that I just couldn’t keep that up.

I’ve also been letting my slave-space repress me a keep me down.  To be clear, it wasn’t Master keeping me down – it was me.  And it was at my request that we change our dynamic.

So what is the difference, for me, between slave and boy?

Well there is the fact that a boy has more leeway.  But it goes deeper than that.  A slave for me is able to set aside a good portion of that control and drop into that deep submissive space.  Words really don’t describe it well, and I promise to touch on this more in the future.

I am fortunate, very fortunate to have found a dominant who has been able to mold me into the man that I want to be, with a few twists of his own and someone with who, I was able to explore who I am.

I was sad yesterday at the close of this part of my time with Master, but the release and subsequent recollaring feels right and lets me feel free.  I am very thankful for the experience.

Thank you to Sir Scott, Western Canada Leather Sir 2011 and former Mr. Edmonton Leather 2003 for allowing Master C to share one of His traditions with people in attendance during “The Twoo Leather” seminar.