When I used to think of titleholders, I used to think of gregarious and extroverted individuals who can spin up an event and really make it happen.

Prior to running for Eastern Canada Leatherboy I did a whole bunch of soul searching about being in the public eye and specifically about being an introvert.  I observed other titleholders as they went through their year.  I spoke with former judges about their observations of the titleholder they judged to win, and their concerns.

I spoke with the producers about it before running.  Looking at the history of both the Sirs and boys that have represented Eastern Canada – truth be known quite a few have actually been introverts.  So, at one level, I’m in the company of men similar to myself and proof that introverts can be successful titleholders.

“You’re an intovert?” – Yes, quite.  I look at introversion in terms of what it takes to rebuild my energy.  Being in crowds, being the life of the party does not always revitalize me – despite the fact that I do like being able to spin up a good party if I have the energy.  What really centres me is spending time on my own, or around a few friends, and doing what I really like to do.

Us titleholders know that taking that downtime to revitalize is important – everyone needs it extrovert or introvert.  Observing previous titleholders, their mentors and talking with these individuals shows me just how important that is.

So before taking on a title – figure out what you need to do to centre yourself and build that downtime in.  Definitely have an idea, going into the contest, of when you need your downtime as much as possible and if you can, stick to that plan.  Obviously, there will always be last minute events and such and there will always be the unexpected.

From the period of June through to the end of August, Sir and I had a significant number of events to attend in the order of Pride, our ILSb send off, ILSb weekend itself and ending with Toronto Leather Pride.  I was exhausted and ended up taking the better part of a month to almost a month and a half to come down from that experience, along with doing even more soul searching about what my journey forward is.  I actually did not anticipate this need, so it was quite a surprise to me.

This really got me to take stock of how to rebuild my reserves and what I truly needed.

The IainCave

When growing up I spent a lot of time on my own and did not spend a lot of time over at friend’s homes or having friend over – when I did, it was a real treat and I savoured every minute.  In high school I was also one of those individuals who floated from group to group and didn’t feel I really fit in anywhere other than in the computer lab.  That said, I am very surprised I’m not as socially awkward as I could have grown to be – that is beside the point.

I also had my own personal refuge –  I had what I referred to as my office, a small room in the basement where I spent hours on my 8-bit and 16-bit computers programming and BBSing back in the days of 300 baud dialup modems.  I loved this space.

Moving forward in time, my partner and I live in a two bedroom plus den condo that we bought 5 years ago.  I claimed the Den as my ‘office’ with a large desk, book cases, etc…  While it was nice, I wasn’t spending any time in it – I wasn’t using the space to an advantage.  For a year, since ILSb in 2010, I had been looking at transforming this space.  I finally had the impetus to actually make that change.

I got rid of the desk, moved the book cases, put in a comfortable chair that rocks, a matching ottoman, a TV stand and TV, soundbar, installed my game consoles and I now have what I affectionately call the IainCave ™ . Porn served off my Mac Mini on the TV looks great, especially Shot Gun CBT videos. *DROOL* I also believe, the seat is at the right height and angle for sucking someone off and working their nipples over – yes, very much looking forward to Master Chuck being a test subject. *GRIN*

This space centers me, it’s where I now go to do my writing, reading, listening to music, gaming, some work, cam, and watching porn when the main television is being used.  I almost wonder if I have now spent more time in this room than I did during the previous 5 years.

What else?

Here’s a point form list of things that also help me:

• Spending time chilling in a hot tub centers me whether it’s in the bath, in the hot tub downstairs or a bath house.  Even the steam room at the gym helps.  It’s something I started when I was studying in Ottawa and continued big time when I got back from studying in the UK.  And even more fun if there’s someone in there with you. *GRIN*
• Sticking to a regular sleep pattern also helps.  I am very much a night hawk, so being disciplined about going to bed between 10:30pm and 11:30pm during the week is vital for not being overtired on the weekend, and being off.  Especially if I’m going up to Sudbury for a weekend of service to Master Chuck.
• Music always works for me to lift my mood – there’s very little I do without music playing
• My annual camping trip either to the Rams Run, Spearhead Run or the Crude Run, is an important summer event for me.  A chance to get mostly naked outdoors, get in some good play, and deeper camaraderie/brotherhood, and spending time with like-minded brothers.
• Getting to the gym – I have to admit, despite at one point having 17in arms and a 50in chest, I got really fed up with lifting at the gym.  I’ve started swimming and have been enjoying that, also going for walks in the outdoors really helps during the spring, summer and autumn.
• Seeing my friends and even Scott’s subs on a one on one basis.
• Most importantly, spending time with Scott and Master Chuck one on one when i’ve been out on the road.
• Wearing  Master Chuck’s formal collar – I have been wearing His formal collar for the past 24 hours as I write this.  While I have a tag that I usually wear otherwise, when I feel that I need that reminder of His presence even though He’s 360km away, I wear the more formal collar
• When with Sir, often being at His feet (sitting or lying), smelling His scent, even being in His house helps me.
• Having a pair of Sir’s boots handy – the cowboy boots that were worn during ILSb weekend were passed on from Sir.
• A simple order from Sir can sometimes help
• In my boy contract, the following is a condition:
  • If the boy’s mood is negative for longer than 4 hours then the boy will contact Sir immediately
• While going to events with Your dom is spending time together, it’s not the same as getting that one on one time no matter how hard you’ve tried to make it one on one time – especially during the title year.  Make sure you get real one on one time – especially if your primary Daddy/Sir/Master is not also your TitleSIR.

What could work for you?  Is it as simple as being at your Daddy’s, Sir’s or Master’s feet or do you need a space of your own?

If I am judging a contest and I perceive you to be an introvert, expect me to ask questions about this.  I want to know you know how to look after yourself.