The Vest: Work, Confidence, and Freedom

Tonight I wore my first piece of leather to a work function.  I bought that first piece around 2000 when I was working at my first processional job as a software developer for a well known Canadian telecommunications provider that spectacularly went down the shitter a few short years ago.

The context for purchasing that piece of leather was, well, I wanted a leather vest, and particularly a bar vest.  There was this hot, tall, black haired man who I used to see at The Toolbox and I admired the vest he often wore with plaid shirts – classic Bear/Leatherbear look.

I had won an award at work, $100, to spend anywhere I wanted.  I had won a $50 gift certificate at The Toolbox courtesy of Arktos from Ohio when they did a bar night.  This was back when Leather and Bear clubs took the time to travel to other cities, create a weekend of hot debauchery, and fundraising for local ASOs, or other causes.

Needless to say, off I went to Northbound and ordered my vest.  I expensed the $100 back to the company – Northbound receipt and all.  No one batted an eye.

I’m not sure it was the same model vest that hot man was wearing, but what I got was what I wanted.

I’ve worn leather at work before.  Several years ago at my last job, I dressed in full Leather for Hallowe’en as BIker Daddy Iain and his hog, Harley – a stuffed pig I got when I worked for Canada’s Wonderland over 20 years ago.

Some of you know about my challenges of coming out to a co-worker as a Leatherman and her not taking it well, kind of holding it over my head, nearly quitting the company, and learning that my senior manager doesn’t care – and nor should he, especially since it enhances who i am in my job.  And needless to say, being in a service industry, speaks heaps from my heart.

I felt empowered tonight, I felt confident, I felt strong wearing my vest.  It turned a few heads and a few people said that I looked very classy.  It’s not like that piece would have been inappropriate for the event – it is a classy vest.

Despite reducing the size of it – when i lost my weight two years ago, it has not lost any of it’s “power”.  If anything, it’s more empowering.

And once again, my Leather heart sang and burst out in a place that where in the past it has felt the need to remain closeted.  A huge step for me.

That vest means so much to me.