Join our judges Mr. Black Eagle 2010 Connor, Penny Gyokeres, Master Chuck’s boy iain – Eastern Canada Leatherboy 2011, Frank Mancino and Mr. Spearhead 2011 Dwayne Bryk for one of the first events kicking off the Toronto Gay Pride celebrations. We’re looking for contestants for Mr. Leather Pride Black Eagle! Contact Dwayne Bryk or Black Eagle Toronto if you are interested!
The contest is on June 29th, 2011 at 11pm.
Dan Savage started the “It Gets Better” project last year in response to the LGBT youth who can’t picture what their lives might be like as openly gay adults. They can’t imagine a future for themselves. So let’s show them what our lives are like, let’s show them what the future may hold in store for them.
I recorded a video, although not specifically Leather-oriented, almost right off the plane, in a hotel on a business trip. The text I wrote on the flight down. I figure, hey, not bad for my first YouTube video:
I feel I’m overdue to record a second one that is more Leather-oriented, because not only has my life gotten better by coming out as a gay man, my life as a Leatherman, since being collared 7 years ago this weekend, has become pretty amazing.
Below are a few videos submitted by Leathermen that caught my eye while looking through YouTube, including some from my brothers in the Rochester Rams.
Dart
Dan – Rochester Rams
Bob – Rochester Rams
Larry – Rochester Rams
The LA Leather Community
Someone approached me recently about the Rough House play parties and what they are about. I’m always happy to explain to someone what they’re about, what they can expect, etc…
When he realized I was a collared submissive, he thought he should stop talking to me to which I responded, “No, Sir allows and encourages me to talk to anyone.”, and then I further explained Sir’s protocols for communication and play.
This was actually someone who is, at this point, primarily bottom and possibly submissive – something he’s looking to explore. In his own words, he learned a lot from me in our brief discussion.
It makes me wonder, how many times this may actually come up – the fact that someone might wish to talk to me, learn a bit about D/s, but might not understand some of the protocols of the collar I wear.
To clarify, Sir allows me:
So why chat with Sir? Here are a few considerations:
It’s a shame that many, maybe 60% of those who are interested in playing with me are not willing to having the chat with Sir, and their loss in 100% of those cases. They’re going to miss a potentially hot time because usually by the time we’ve chatted about what we want in the scene, I’m ready to serve and drop into subspace – because I am serious about playing. I can’t risk the scene, and Sir is not willing to risk damage to His boy.
So that, said,
This is all in line with Master Chuck’s will.
To all those headed to IML in Chicago this weekend, i wish you the best of luck!
Now, don’t forget about ILSb in San Francisco at the end of!July. *GRIN*
Our regularly scheduled music break:
Photo courtesy of Steve Thorson
A peak into my traveling wardrobe.
As some of you know I’ll be in Portland, Oregon again next week from Monday night through Thursday.
This trip is for business for a fairly large client. Most of my business travel is to the United States. While down here, I try to hit a Leather bar, sex club or bath house. I consider it doing my part to support and promote our Leather and Sex-Positive spaces. Sir allows me to do this as it pleases Him to see me sharing what I’ve learned over the years, as well as learning tricks from other for the benefit of His pleasure.
So what do I bring with me? Where do I go? How do I find out where to go?
Identifiers
I always have my boy tag with me and on me 24/7/365 when I’m not having to take it off due to a security check. Thankfully it does not set the metal detectors off, but it is seen in the full body scanners. On my last trip to Orlando, I forgot to take it off, and I figure next time I’ll ask to be felt up by security – there are some damned hot uniformed blokes out there. 😉
On business trips, I usually do not have my formal collar with me. I’m too afraid to loose something that priceless and meaningful to me.
I usually have a hunter green hanky on me, always in the right pocket. I’ll also flag other colours as appropriate as per my protocols with Sir and for my mood.
I try to wear boots as much as possible between my Doc Martens, Nick’s Custom Harness boots, my Wesco Bosses or, now, my Corcorans.
If I’m out, I will try to have one of my vests with me – prior to February, my pin vest, or my title vest where and when appropriate. I’ll also try to wear a local Toronto bar or event shirt. It provides a discussion point for people.
Play
Play wise, I try to bring smaller things – I don’t have a lot of room in my bag for lots of rope or large toys, but what I bring is effective:
Other things
I bring my iPad to help plan where I am going from the hotel to the bar, bath house or sex club. I’ll also have some form of GPS device on me as well to help me get to my destination.
I’ll often check sites such as Squirt, Recon, Bear 411 and also ask locals if they have any suggestions. Squirt has a great collection of cruising locations along with reviews. Honestly, I couldn’t do without it.
Usually a few days before, I’ll update my location to reflect that I’m in the area and also specify what dates I’ll be there.
On my iPhone and iPad, I also use the Recon, Scruff and Grindr apps with varying degrees of success.
But as I always say, it’s often best to get out there and connect in person. I don’t want to waste time stuck and frustrated in a hotel room.
Moments While Traveling
I’ve had two funny moments while traveling over the years:
– Flying back from Sudbury to Toronto, they x-ray your bags with you there. I used to bring up a huge bag with all my toys and Leathers. They asked,
“What is is big ring thing?” I knew what they were referring to,
“It’s a ball weight.”
“No really, what is it?”
I looked at the guy in the eye and said, “It’s a ball weight.”
They actually know Sir quite well there as He travels with at least one bag full of toys when He flies.
– Flying out of Philadelphia, I decided to carry my bag in the plane and inside was a soft blue butt plug I use quite often. They pulled it out at the security checkpoint asking what it was. Sorry guys, you’re not going to embarrass me. I will point out they were respectful – much thanks!
– Driving to Detroit with Master Scott’s cane case in the back of the car, which is made from PVC piping. Yes, they opened it up and asked us what the canes are for, do we get paid to do what we do, etc…
I do recommend making sure that you are clear what is in your bags, vehicle, etc… As to not risk being turned away at the border. i.e. A piercing play kit left in the car will raise major eyebrows if you have no medical need for needles.
You can be straight up with border staff. For example, when Master Chuck, International Leatherboy 2010 boy Ian and I went to Detroit for Michigan LeatherSIR/Leatherboy, we did tell the border guard that we were going to judge a fetish contest. For CLAW, I initially said that Sir and I were going to a weekend conference and then clarified that it was the Cleveland Leather Annual Weekend.
So there you have it. That’s how I’m ready for action while in the road.
By the way, Steam in Portland has the most comfortable beds of any bath house I’ve been to in the 15 years I’ve been going to baths. The first one I visited, incidentally, was Le 456 in Montreal.
Courtesy of Steve Thorson
“So you were a Sir before you were a boy?”, with his eyes looking down on me with some disdain.
“No, Sir, i was a collared boy at the same time.”, i responded in a matter of fact tone not being disrespectful, noticing his lip curling.
In a number of previous blog entries, I have mentioned my previous boys. I’ve never hidden the fact that I do switch. In fact, the first seminar I taught was on switching dynamics at TOKink 2006 – 5 years ago this past weekend, which is also the 5th anniversary of my slave collaring. Switching has been an important part of my training as a Leatherman.
I have always been interested in not only becoming a better man than what I know, but I’ve always been interested in passing on what I have learned to others. This is a big part of what we do in Leather and it honours those people I have learned from.
Seven years ago, prior to being collared by Master Chuck, I was primiarly a top and very rarely did I bottom – in fact I could count on one hand the number of times I had been fucked in the 9 years I had been out at the time, and never bottomed in a BDSM sense.
These days, seven years later, I crave bottoming and submitting to masculine men, and I acknowledge that I do have a top and dominant side of me as well. I love topping and maybe less so, being dominant. In a dom/sub sense, I would say I am 75% submissive and 25% dominant. I would also say I am 50% bottom and 50% top.
For me it’s all about balance. Being dominant for a brief time allows me to rebalance myself – and it doesn’t take a lot to satisfy that part of me. After topping then I drop into bottom space even deeper. Sir knows this and for that reason encourages my topping.
As time has gone on, the need to swing back and forth between being submissive and dominant has decreased.
I distinguish dom/sub ratios from bottom/top ratios because I see them as separate things. As a boy, I don’t always bottom and I have been known to top. It is such a turn on knowing that a Sir is being pleasured from me topping! As a dominant, I’d probably find bottoming REALLY hot too, though it’s not something I’ve experienced, but hope to in the future.
It doesn’t happen often, but I love it when people look at me with disdain with varying degrees of attitude that somehow I’m less of a boy and even less of a budding Sir, but you know, it is also sad – they are missing so much in me.
Truth be known, I would rather be in service to someone who has spent time bottoming or as a submissive because they will understand me better as a submissive, and I understand them better as a dominant. However, I also recognize and acknowledge that there are some phenomenal dominants out there that have not spent the time submitting to another.
With regards to the specific case I am thinking of, quite honestly, I found the Sir’s attitude rude and obnoxious. He did not ask me whether it was part of my training, about my Sir’s philosophies, nor my own philosophies – and this would be the prefect opportunity for Him to learn something about me, Master Chuck, the family of which I am a part, and maybe an opportunity to learn about the Sir. Instead, it felt like he had an agenda to make me feel less than I am because of his own importance. Unfortunately, His loss.
Believe me, I’ve had this kind of discussion before with Sirs who were open to learning more about my Sir’s training and about my experiences who don’t understand switching, but I was never looked down on.
In a related but different experience, I was talking to one of my title brothers from a different region and he told me that he was getting flack for being a boy, helping to train a Daddy. He is an experienced, dedicated boy; very much involved in his Leather community, highly respected in his region and a player. Are people giving his Sir and Daddy the same attitude?
Truth be known, I know a number of slaves and boys who have boys of their own or co-dom a sub with their Master, Sir or Daddy.
After all it was Master Chuck’s first boy who was able to create the space for Sir to accept being called Sir. It was Master Chuck’s first slave who was able to create the space for Sir to accept being called Master. You cannot deny that experienced and even inexperienced submissives contribute to the growth of their dominants and are all part of a good Dom’s continuing growth.
Who made these people the authority on what a Daddy, Sir or Master does with their boy? History has shown there wasn’t one way of doing things and not everyone did things the same way.
I am aware that in previous Leather generations, submissives were submissives, dominants were dominants, and switches were not taken seriously because you “never knew what you were taking home and if you would be flipped”. Oh the shock and horror!
I do hold dear working one’s way up from the bottom to the top. In my relationship with Master Chuck, I have no intention on dominating Him, I never try to dominate Him, and I am always submissive to Him. That is how the relationship is defined and anything else would not be honourable to what we have built up – although I can be strong willed and that does get me in trouble.
Master Chuck encourages all of His boys to take on subs of their own, which Sir also finds it hot – watching His leather DNA being used in new ways.
So what about the boys? I’ve had four with very different life experiences, different ages and while they’ve been in my life for a short period of time, each of them has had a major impact on me and I know I’ve had an impact on their life:
Each has discovered a part of their true nature.
Doming and topping is not easy work. It can be demanding, exhausting and even emotionally taxing, but it has all been worth it. I am proud of my former boys and I love all of them unconditionally.
Being someone’s boy has never taken away from my boy’s experience with me as their Sir. Me being their Sir has never taken away from my service to Master Chuck. It has always enhanced the interactions just as it enhances my role as Eastern Canada Leatherboy – especially given I understand, to a certain degree, the experience of the dominant.
My community has even recognized this through my Mama’s Family title – Mama’s Canadian Boy Sir – something I am intensely proud of.
Last year, I decided to take a break from taking on any further boys, as I wanted to concentrate on being in service to Master Chuck. I felt my time as Master Chuck’s slave was slowly coming to a close, but not my submission to Him as a boy and I needed to concentrate on U/us. After all, how can I serve to build others and our community if I don’t work on myself?
I am also learning to shift my focus from Leather philosophy and personal growth to play – Sir has always encouraged both and I do have a fair bit of play experience. Both are important to me, and it’s easy for me to get caught up in Leather philosophy and writings.
Who knows what is in store for me, for the future. At this point in my life, I am very content and I enjoy being Master Chuck’s boy and concentrating on that relationship. This is what I need and want for now. It is something I will cherish for life.
As they say… contentment is when what we say, do and feel are all in sync.
You know, I’m not sure where to start with regards to CLAW. What a great concept and such a fun weekend!
Thursday
Sir arrived Thursday evening as did His boy, back from a business trip to Portland.Sir was in bed by the time I got home and after finishing some work after arriving home at midnight, I headed off to bed to wake up at 11am.
Friday
Sir and i were on the road by 1:00pm and got to Cleveland by 5:30pm. We met up with slave David, who many of you will recognize from the hot furry guy in the cage from CLAW IX, got settled, had dinner and Sir sent me for a nap while He picked up the supplies for O/our bar night (Thank You Sir!).
Bears out of Hibernation Party
What an amazing night starting out with meeting the bar staff (Dave, Josh, Angelo, DJ Doug, Will), David German (Mr. Michigan Leather 2011), The Grand Rapids Rivermen, Dave Watt, Donnie on security, and Leatherwolfe. It was GREAT seeing the Missionary Sisters of Cleveland out. The music was great, the BBQ was enticing and much thanks to everyone who participated in our fundraisers that involved:
Let's play balls!
Bear Base Balls – Sir duct taped me to the ministage area with me dressed in a Union Suit, jock and my title vest with a big grin, ready for people to bat a ball aimed at my nuts. Only two people were successful at hitting my nuts, and sad to say no bruises elsewhere. That is until someone lost the ball… and out came the stuffed teddy bear diving for Sir’s boy nuts! Special thanks to Dave Watt for arranging the birthday singing and the Oreos! *GRIN*
Bear Pick Me Up Raffle – Highly popular and much thanks to Sir for saving His boy’s knees getting down while getting a good workout in. My left knee has actually been pretty sore recently – something being worked on.
The men who made it happen
All in all, we raised over $500 between the fundraisers and the door donations. Much thanks to everyone who attended the bar night, the volunteers and to slave David for the photos.
It was a real surprise to see one of Sir’s boys show up with His own boy during the event. A real surprise.
Once all was said and done, we crashed at 2:30am and got up at 8:00am.
Much thanks to everyone for the birthday wishes!
Saturday
Saturday involved brunch with Richard Hubley (MLO 2008) who I have known for years and then heading to the seminars.
What a great set of seminars!
Bareback Porn Roundtable
If there’s one man who can bring together people and spin up a great conversation on sex and risk mitigation, it’s Dave Watt. The conversation was an eye opener for me as an outreach worker, especially listening to men who do bareback and their take on the judgements that they perceive and receive from others. It challenged me just as we all challenged each other. We had a great conversation about how the messaging around safe sex, unsafe sex and condom use has to change for better empowerment rather than talking down to us like kids and take a risk mitigation approach – Some that I know the Ontario AIDS Network and the AIDS Committee of Toronto has been working on.
Much thanks to everyone who participated, you’ve made an impact on me, how I approach outreach and I hope that Dave Watt will consider bringing the discussion to Toronto sometime in the near future.
Boys in the Leather Community
Coffee Service!
Again, another great discussion and much thanks to Jim Raymond – honourary Daddy of the DC boys of Leather; and Mary Elizabeth Boyd – the First Lady of Leather, honourary Mother of the DC boys of Leather and amazing woman – who I had heard of and she was sitting next to me!
The conversation was about boys supporting each other and the boys Bill of Rights. This is something I support – I’m fortunate that I have a very good Sir in my life, but other boys are not so lucky and are also not as strong – face it, boys are just as diverse as the greater world outside Leather. Boys need to learn how to protect themselves and that they can.
Sirs were also welcome and one Sir did raise the issue of receiving flack from peers in the community around how He chooses to honour His Boys (using His protocol). Who are others to put down how He chooses to honour His Boys, and what His protocols are? Sir wishes me to walk in front of Him – does that make His protocol wrong? There is no one way of doing what we do in D/s relationships – ask some of the men who have been part of Leather and have been practicing D/s for a long time.
I had a chance to connect, during and after the seminar, with American Leather Boy 2010, Bryan, who I had noticed last year at International LeatherSIR/Leatherboy. A great boy and someone who, in the future, will (and I hear does) make an amazing Daddy. Someone I’m happy to call a brother.
Boots!
Master Chuck allowed me to pick up two pairs of boots from Stompers – a pair of Corcorans and a custom pair of Wesco Jobmasters, I have been drooling over for years.
Corcorans
Gabriel on my boots. 🙂
I requested the Corcorans as kind of an adult version of the parade boots I grew up with as an Air and Army Cadet when I was a kid. They’re comfortable, they’re gorgeous and I can’t wait to shine them.
I like highly polished boots. Always have and it’s something I grew up with as a kid being the ‘shoe shiner’ of my house. Being involved in Air and Army Cadets as a kid, I took pride in polishing my boots to the best of my ability.
Much thanks to Gabriel Majors for being the first black to touch my Corcorans. *GRIN* Looking forward to seeing you black at GLLA and ICBB 2012!!!
Wesco Jobmasters
The Wesco Jobmasters are pure lust for me. I like them on the men that I have seen wear them and I think they’re going to look and feel amazing. I get to pick these up during the ILSb/Dore Alley weekend. I can’t wait!!
Seriously, I am bouncing over these. *GRIN*
Thank You Sir for allowing Your boy to purchase these boots.
Saturday Night
The reminder of Saturday involved the formal dinner where Sir and His boy were table captains along with Mr. Gay Naturist Leather at the table.
After dinner Sir had a duty that never comes easily to any Sir – that of releasing his boy/MiT in a family-only private ceremony – with my brother’s own boy behind Him; and slave David and I behind Sir. I don’t believe there was a dry eye among any of us, but Sir’s boy has served well, learned well and I am fortunate to call Him brother.
Sir was quite tired Saturday night and went to bed early. He allowed slave David and I to have some down time, so I let my hair down and spent some time with Ms. Olympus Leather Christiana, her Sir, Jeffrey Payne and Gabriel (Majors) as he worked his blacking magic for all of us. Thank Y/you all for the chat!
I was exhausted from the trip to Sudbury and Portland, work has been pretty draining and so the responsible thing for me was to go to bed at 12:15am Sunday morning. Next year, I hope to get out to the play parties, for sure.
Sunday
Sir's handy work and birthday gift
Sunday involved being woken up with Sir working my ass over with His hands, a paddle and counting off the riding crop strikes (YUM!), the Coffee Boys, packing the cars and then having brunch.
Much thanks to the fellow boys who brought coffee in the morning! That was definitely a highlight of the weekend and you really got Sir up! *GRIN*
And thank you Bryan for the massage! I needed that and it helped for the five hour drive back home.
From left to right - with American Leatherboy 2010 Bryan; Mama Sandy; and no, i'm not topping Richard, i'm riding Him. :)
Wrap Up
I am very glad Sir had a chance to meet some of the people that have inspired me in my journey over the years, and that He’s been able to inspire others through this weekend. That’s what weekends like CLAW are for us.
CLAW as an event brings together a broad spectrum of the Leather community which is wonderful to see. You have:
A lot of hard work goes into this weekend and much thanks to the organizers for pulling this weekend off.
Much thanks to slave David for his help on the weekend – taking photos, lugging supplies with me, looking after Sir and me for not only CLAW but also for his help during Eastern Canada LeatherSIR/Leatherboy weekend back in February.
Please be sure to read Sir’s blog entry on CLAW.
Packed and heading home