So today, I got a lesson in Gender Politics. It something I know I’ve needed to learn a bit more about, and now seems the right time.
I digress.
Following up to my post from this morning we’ve had a few developments:
- First we have someone who did write TLP worried about their policy for the Surge party. I applaud you Heather for standing by your beliefs. While we may disagree on points, I do salute and respect you as a Leatherwoman.
- We have a new press release from TLP that says they were threatened via “Not-For-Profit Corporation Act”.
- There is a meeting for Community Response to Surge Press Release.
- And we have a whole bunch of angry people on Fetlife.
Before I get started, I will say that I will probably offend somebody, everyone, possibly nobody in this blog post. As far as I am concerned, I am doing my best to understand and share my thoughts on a VERY complex topic. If I offend you, please don’t just dismiss me because I’m a white privileged fat gay Leatherman.
Firstly, and I have said this many times – I believe in multiple kinds of spaces. I believe that we need our own spaces, to be with our own kind. I also believe we need spaces where we can be all together and variances in between. Why can’t we have spaces for men, women and combined spaces? Why do men want their man caves? Is it such a bad thing?
I do not believe it is a bad thing in fact, quite the opposite – quite healthy.
Let me talk binary for a second – In a play sense, in a men-only space, guys can let go and be how they want to be. In women’s space, I know it would be the same thing. Add men into women’s space, and the dynamic changes. Add women into male space and the dynamic changes. Add transpeople to space and it’s the same thing – the dynamic changes. I’m not saying that this is necessarily bad or good, it just changes.
If you’re looking for a particular dynamic, you want that particular dynamic.
Do I really need to say that for some people, mixing dynamics just doesn’t work or doesn’t work in a particular moment? It’s like, if I want to be in “Bearspace”, I don’t necessarily want some nelly Twinky Queeny guy around commenting that my boots aren’t Prada. I want big masculine furry men fucking my ass, or a few furry asses to fuck. Is that too hard to ask? Yes, I am being exclusionary because that is what I need and want.
That’s what we have here.
Face it, if you think the mythical Gay Unicorn Leatherman is difficult to find, you should try finding Leatherwomen and Leatherdykes. Okay, I’ve found a few, quite a few, and there are some phenomenal women and trans leaders in our community. That said, considering the Leatherwomen’s community has had little support in Toronto, and there has been little support over the past few years until now… And even now someone is giving women and transfolk, again, the short end of the stick. Do I really need to remind everyone of the Pussy Palace Raids in 2000?
Men do I need to remind you of the Operation Soap raids of 1981? Same shit, different shovel.
Alright, so getting back to the matter at hand, the party had the following disclaimer:
“Open to Women and Trans People Only – Part of the TLP 2012 Weekend. For the purpose of this event, “Trans Persons” are considered as those who live 24/7 as the gender for which they identify. All others are welcome to attend the Fetish Party that begins at 11pm.”
Okay, so I agree that that may be a bit too binary. It does technically exclude people who are transitioning or starting their journeys as transgendered. I don’t believe that was the intention or spirit, and mistakes happen.
Knowing some of the organizers have attended the Pleasure Palace Toronto (aka Pussy Palace), I’m surprised the policy wasn’t similar to the following:
“A Queer Women and Trans Bathhouse
PS No cis* men please
*Cis refers to those whose gender identity matches their biological sex”
Based on what Heather was requesting, in her blog and letter to TLP, I think the above definition would work and also allow androgynous, genderqueer, genderfluid, and genderfucked folk to attend.
I can think of some people who might identify in one of those boxes – but I don’t truly know for sure if that is how they identify; who would be allowed to attend with that policy. I also know they would be allowed in to the event with the original policy as well on a case by case basis – not that the bouncer is going to be that strict, most likely.
The argument around Cross Dressing and Transvestites that has come up? Well, do they live their lives as women 24/7? Most as far as I know do not and are still technically cis-males. Given this event is supposed to be a women and transgendered event… To quote boi jen from Florida: “The reality is that the space is created as a safe space for those who *live* outside of that norm. Not folks who indulge in a fetish of dress up and then get to go back to heir safe little boxes at the end of the night.” And in many respects, I suspect most would not want to go to a Leather event anyway and those who do, would probably be respectful.
Why do we need to have all-inclusive spaces, all the time, for every event we do? The answer is, we don’t.
I will be honest, I do not support Toronto Leather Pride in completely opening up what is supposed and should be a women and transgendered event to everyone. That space needs to remain closed to cis-men for one night. At the same time, whoever is stirring this shit up and threatening needs to grow up. I also believe that HOTFF should have pushed back on the calls for legal action to use a quote from Twitter: “tedious short-sighted identity politics are often politically unsophisticated & detrimental on larger scale.”.
That said, I said it earlier today while I am not affiliated with Toronto Leather Pride or Heart of the Flag Productions, I appreciate what the organization does to setup events for the Leather community whether we identify as Gay, Lesbian, Trans, Queer, Pan or Straight.
For the Leathermen who read my blog and read this entry, I propose we respect the spirit of the event and support women and transgendered folk in our community. They’ve earned the space a long time ago – don’t forget who looked after gay men as they were dying in the 80s and 90s. They shouldn’t have to work so hard to claim their rightful spot. Men – let’s choose not to enter into what was going to be considered the women & trans-only space, let’s drink and salute our women and transgendered brothers and sisters, after all we have ample enough space. They need our support.
To those women, transfolks, and however you identify – I hope you will come to the Eagle and claim your rightful space by our side in however that space develops and I pity the man who dares to give you attitude or say you do not belong, when clearly you do belong.
If you have a problem with a potentially ‘exclusive’ event and you want to setup an event that is more open – then show leadership and set it up. I’d be more than happy to support you. Don’t pull the legal card – it doesn’t help you nor the greater community. And if the individual or individuals are from the Pan community as called out by the original press release, then to the enlightened members of the Pan community, you have a duty to stand up and call those individuals on their shit because they are causing a rift – much like I continue to stand up to people when they use broad strokes against the pan community.
It’s easy to criticize, it’s harder to act.