Category Archives: Family

Thoughts about my place within Master C’s Leather family, Leather family dynamics, connections I have to, and the building of my own Leather family.

Learning to live with anxiety

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I live with anxiety.

It’s something that I really didn’t have an understanding of until I considered that I may be living with it, researched it, and the pandemic, plus some brewing personal situations that I needed to resolve was really the impetus for me figuring it out.

I think, when people think about anxiety, they think of the stereotypical suburban housewife in the 80s and earlier, taking Valium, not able to cope with things; which does a real disservice to women and stigmatizes what anxiety is, and how it can be treated.

We’ve come a long way since then and while mental health is still misunderstood, the treatments, compassion and care that exists today versus what I’ve seen friends go through, say, in the 80s is night and day.

NOTE: This blog entry discusses my mental health journey and while aspects here might help you, I am not a mental health expert and I advise you that if any of what I have written resonates with you, do consider speaking with a therapist.

Consider being in a situation that involves someone else where your mind is racing trying to figure out all the angles, possibilities and outcomes of the situation in advance so you’re prepared to get through any variant of the situation – a perpetual what if machine. 

You’re nervous about saying the right thing in the right way because it’s super important to you, you have often been misunderstood in life, so you want to make sure you’re heard and understood. It consumes you and takes up valuable cycles you could be using to focus on other things in your life.

You become irritable, emotional – you want to do the right thing- you want to do the right thing for yourself, you also want to be considerate and do the right thing for the person you need to talk with and open up to, but you can’t because you’re trying to find the perfect way to meet your needs, their needs, to be sensitive to the other person and true to yourself. 

You agonize over it.
You beat yourself up.

At least, in how anxiety has been showing up for me, this has been a common scenario. I recognize that anxiety shows up in a multitude of different ways for different people. Overcoming and learning to live with anxiety is a unique journey for everyone.

There are a few approaches I figured out for myself that seemed to work

  • I write it out as it helps to get out of your head – a theme – and allows me to collect and organize thoughts. I can spin so hard, its very hard to keep thoughts organized.
  • I talk to others to get out of my head – starting to see a theme? Mainly because I have the sense to say, “I need help!”. I know I’m stuck inside, and need to check in with someone else who is outside the situation to get a reality check, to be challenged and ultimately to help stop that spinning so I could do what I needed to do – which was to talk the person I really needed to.
  • In some situations I’m able to talk directly to the person, which really is how it should be, but it’s not as smooth as it really should be, and even in those moments, when talking things out, my head can be spinning hard.

That spinning is not kind, it will pull in other baggage, and it’s very hard to dig out. I knew that if I talked directly to the person involved about the situation I’m spinning about, it’s not going to be pretty. At least, that’s what I thought at the time.

In all honesty, no matter how weird or meandering or even ugly the path to the resolution to the situation you’re in is, dealing with it straight up is actually better. The people that can and do see past your baggage will be the ones that will help you figure things out and support you in seeing through your anxiety and triggers.

The character of Anxiety in Inside Out 2, a recent movie from Disney-Pixar, anthropomorphizes a great representation of anxiety. I really feel that if I had this story growing up, it may have given me some good food for thought or at least planted a seed where I could have realized earlier what was happening and lessened the impact on my life.

I’m not going to talk here about how I was able to connect the dots that lead to me learning how to mitigate my anxiety as it did involve some unconventional methods. The parts I will talk about are 

  • it did involve looking at situations that were triggering me. At the time I was dealing with triggers constantly going off from multiple sources – I am surprised I kept it together. For me, this was typically the starting point for where anxiety starts for a given situation.
  • I had the sense to take the time to understand why I was triggered – what in my past is trying to inform me that I’m in some form of “danger zone”? This part of my looking inward journey was huge and I had to build courage to go there and face my interpretation of the past, and heal from it. I had to go back and deal with my past.
  • I spent time with my therapist to talk through what I was seeing and experiencing.
  • Most importantly, I have some amazing family around me who gave me:
    • a safe space for me to be able to deal with whatever I was dealing with in real time as things came up, 
    • while they called me on my shit, it was clear they had my back and loved me and stood for me being a better Iain, and they were invested in being part of my life just as I wanted them in my life,
    • the space to make mistakes and learn from them,
    • reminders that I was worthy of that support and love,
    • a voice, that would be listened to, where I felt heard, and people took the time to understand me and what I was dealing with,
    • where I could get reassurance and learn to trust that reassurance,
    • where I could express emotion and not feel locked up, that i was wrong for just feeling and expressing that emotion – that my emotions are real and valid,
    • challenged me in a good thought provoking way – during that whole period I was constantly hearing “Get out of your head, Iain”,
    • giving me the love and respect that I really needed to get through such a weird space that I happened to get into, that I needed to dig out of.

While only I could do the work, having that support network was what I really needed to sort myself out. Definitely a gift the universe has given me.

Today, I can say my mind is the quietest it has ever been, ever. I cringe thinking about the times it lead to awkward and explosive situations. I’m not comfortable with it, and all I can do is accept that it happened and where required clean it up. learn from it and be a better person.

Anxiety has shaped my life for an incredibly long time. I can go back to my childhood where it started. I have no idea if it’s something that I’m predispositioned towards or a learned behaviour – I suspect a combination of both. 

I certainly recognize what I went through, and the situations that made me a pro at the spin and keeping things to myself. My strong independent streak because I couldn’t rely on or didn’t even have the support I should have had when I was younger, and keeping things to myself as a result, among other things, all this adds up, and I am not surprised at how this turned out. It was a perfect storm.

I am proud of the man I’ve become, I’m proud of the hard work I’ve done on myself to be a better human. The true me has always been upbeat, personable, hardworking, someone who wants to do the right thing, make the world a better place and an introvert-leaning ambivert willing to look inwards, 

The people that matter, I know, are also proud of me. I would not be where I am without them.

Positive changes due to COVID?

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From December 2021, originally published on FetLife

Three weeks ago, I spent a weekend with a newer member of my Leather Family. It was a “much planned but had to change many a time trip” and it finally happened.

The weekend got me pensive about the changes COVID contributed to, that I’ve wanted to implement for years, and what it brought due to the lockdowns we all experienced.

Looking for polyamorous love in the wrong places? I’ve thought and wondered about this on my nightly walks recently.

I’ve got some varied needs between topping and bottoming and domming and subbing. I’m all over the place, and you could say I’m a bit of an experience slut. However, I have always wanted to reduce how open and free to play I was, and limit to a smaller group of like minded people that fulfill me.

Despite the challenges of COVID, it seems to have made this dream and desire come true for me.

In the past, I really enjoyed spending time at and supporting bath houses. In some respects I’m more comfortable at them than bars. Still, as time went on pre-pandemic, I successfully reduced that need and desire, and with COVID it had to drop to nil.

I’ve realized I value intimacy and connection a lot more than I realized.

Quality has always been more important than quantity for me. I’m hypersexual, so it’s not surprising that I have been on the hunt for good sex and play, and find it. Still, I have always wanted and needed something more substantial.

A year ago, Scott and I moved into our house bringing along one of his boys and my boy who lives in my basement.

Little did I realize the ride of learning about polyamory first hand on which I was about to embark.

I had to learn to communicate way better, more than I had learned with my past partners, and they too learned the same.

I chose to show vulnerability and be vulnerable; which as opened me up and opened up others, and it has contributed to more powerful and closer relationships. Others have done the same with me.

I had to deal with the root cause of jealousy and be straight up with myself to bring the change I’ve wanted, to fall in like, to build the relationships and connections I’ve wanted.

I’ve learned to be firm with decisions knowing that as a result, someone is going to go through a necessary growing pain, for their own benefit. Firm yet supportive, patient and principled.

I’ve worked hard and done my best on building, supporting and maintaining the relationship dynamics I want, and supporting my partners in the dynamics they want with other partners, all reciprocated.

Fast forward a year later. For the first time in my life, I’m feeling very much fulfilled in that, I don’t feel a need to go and seek more or want more. I’m happy with what I currently have.

It’s been well worth putting that effort into the relationships and what the universe seems to have provided is way more than I ever anticipated.

While I’ll jump on cruising sites, checking them out and connect with people, honestly, today, I’d prefer to spend that time with my various partners, and their partners because of the connections we share.

I don’t think it means I’m completely off the table, and it doesn’t mean I won’t go out or hunt online. I am always willing to entertain an offer for some fun and I have a few people knocking at my door seeking a connection that I am considering. I’m just not doing it as often, and it’s not a priority.

I’ve found a group of men that stimulate me not just sexually but also intellectually. They’re multidimensional like me versus being a one trick pony. They value connection and that connection is electric. I wouldn’t change the hard work we’ve all done.

COVID has been painful to go through. The lockdowns we’ve all experienced and some may have yet to go through, have been brutal. However, I think there are positives that have come out of this situation. For me, this is one of them.

Nineteen Months

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From October 2021, originally published on FetLife

Nineteen months ago I left the UK for what I thought was going to be a very brief period of leave while we got through COVID. I literally and naively thought that three months would go by and all would be good.

Nope.

I built a relationship with a doggo starting in August 2019 and we clicked really well. As his Handler I started planning a few things out as I saw heaps of potential in this pup, and had started to ramp things up, all of which fell apart in a blink of an eye.

This weekend we reconnected, nineteen months to the day we last saw each other.

I am proud of the man and doggo he’s become in those nineteen months of hell for him.

It was pretty gut wrenching not being able to follow through with the plans I had for 2020, to help him through the COVID pandemic in person; but after this trip, we have a new opening, new opportunities, and an agreement on seeing each other again well into 2023 and hopefully beyond.

Getting out

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This weekend has been a bit eventful. Firstly, it’s the longest I’ve been back in Toronto since March 2019, two weeks in a row! This gives me an opportunity to get out. Getting out I did.

Thursday started with checking out Home Turf, hosted by Jeremy Feist, Mister Leather Toronto 2016; which is a once a month Leather night at The Black Eagle. Normally I would not go out on a school night but I made a commitment to myself and by virtue of talking to others, I’m making good on that commitment.

It was a fun night of all kinds of guys in Leather, guys playing and, more importantly, a diverse age range. It felt good being out in that kind of space again in my own city.

Friday, my boy came over for the weekend to stay. I am a fortunate Sir and he a fortunate boy with both of us living close by and in the same city. Quite a few of us are not as fortunate – saying that from first hand experience as my own Sir lives 5 hours away by car.

Fridays usually involve us coming down from the week, having dinner, light banter and sleeping!

Saturday usually runs some degree of errands. The boy was wanting a pair of boots and we decided to head downtown with him driving. We made the mistake of stopping at Northbound before the boot shop and never got to check out boots because he picked up his first piece of rubber and a nice thigh harness bag.

The Toronto Rubberman meet was that evening at The Eagle and that’s where we headed with Master Scott’s boy charles. What a fun night and a group of friendly people in all kinds of rubber gear including pups and full gear fetishists.

Sunday morning starts with my usual three coffees and breakfast served by the boy. He goes to prepare for Rough House whilst I get prepared mentally, and then we trade places in the bathroom.

We headed downtown. Rough House is, I think, Canada’s primary mens only BDSM play party. There are lots of pansexual parties in the Greater Toronto & Hamilton area, but very few in the gay community. It has been going for years and is a gem and pulls in all kinds of kinksters from rubbermen, leathermen, pigs, doggos and pups. I’ve gone off and on for years.

After working the boy over to both our mutual satisfaction, we head back home, meet up with Scott and three of his subs and go to dinner.

This week starts our preparation for MAL. While I have been travelling a lot with gear, Scott hasn’t and we decided to pull out what he has and put together a few ensembles.

My night ends with my usual good nights to my Sir, my boy, seeing, virtually, a pup I handle off to the airport to see his Sir and Daddy in the States, and then writing an email to my Sir about the weekend.

All in all, I’m glad I got out to explore what Toronto has these days. It’s very unfortunate that the kink and fetish community has slowed down somewhat, but I also feel there is the potential for resurgence. Essentially a retraction happens, people reorganise, new energy enters the picture and something fresh and new happens.

I won’t lie, I miss the November Mr. Leather Toronto event; people descending on Toronto from all over for not just another contest weekend, but also for the chance to learn at the educational seminars, the social aspects and the hooking up.

Thursday can’t come soon enough! I am genuinely excited for MAL.

Amsterdam

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I was recently assigned to a new project that has me travelling between New York City and Toronto, with the added bonus of potential travel to Stockholm, Sweden.

Needless to say, I’m in Sweden during a Canadian long weekend.  What’s a boy to do?  Ask permission to go to Amsterdam to meet one of my favourite European-based Leather Families, that’s what!

With how drained I’ve been for the past two years with two extremely intense projects, I’ve had very little time for Leather and energy-wise, I just haven’t been there.  Time with Master Chuck has also been limited because of His own schedule.

With the change to a new project, it is clear that the last project was impacting me mentally and emotionally more than I realized.  Within 6 weeks of being on the project, I am a considerably more up beat than I have been.  I’m not swearing and frustrated as much.  It’s a really nice change.  I like getting back to the real me.

In terms of sex, play and Leather; I feel like I’m getting my mojo back if my time in Europe has anything to say about it.

I was very privileged to receive an invitation from Master Dave, of the Amsterdam Kink Academy, to stay with Him and be His guest within the city.  How could I pass up such an opportunity – to spend some time with men I highly regard and visit Amsterdam?

Needless to say, calls were made to Master Chuck who gave His approval and tickets booked right away.

I’ve been fortunately to have spoken with Master Dave, boy arne and pup squeak for a while on Twitter, and more recently Facebook.  More recently also, i’ve had a chance to talk with boy blue as well, through Recon.  I also had a chance to meet Sir Charles in person, and pup sniffer virtually.

What an incredible family with a drive to share kink as they do it.

Much of our time was spent talking, comparing stories of family, attitudes and ideology; sharing our experiences along our Leather and life journeys; serving as I hope was apropriate; seeing sights of Amsterdam; spending time at The Black Eagle and Dirty Dick’s; shopping for rubber and leathers at the famous Black Body, Mr. B’s, and RoB – which was, admittedly, a reason for me to visit Amsterdam – It’s hard to find good quality rubber in North America, though it can be found if you know where to look.

The time with Master Dave helped me to reflect on my relationship with Master Chuck.  I have been very fortunate to have had a relationship with Master Chuck since I was 30.  The highs and the lows have been worth it, from the steep learning curve of life that Sir provided and the discipling that went with it, to the learning what it means to be a boy, to be a slave and back to being a boy.  The guidance of learning to be a dominant, the challenges of having my own boys and learning how to balance both sides of myself.

It’s clear that in North America and Europe, Leather as we do it is slowly going away.  Bars have shutdown, bars have had to diversify to bring in an income.  We were among the few in full fetish gear in the bar on Saturday.

Meanwhile, we know the there are heaps more kinky fuckers out there with their fetishes, whatever that kink is.  Hence why Leather and Fetish events are even more important, especially the education aspect that goes along with them.

I have been trying to figure out, what do I want my involvement to be within the broader community.  With the lack of energy and travel schedule I’ve only been able to get to Rough House in Toronto, once or twice a year over the past few years.  I’ve not had the energy to teach somewhat because I’ve not had the energy but I’ve also not been sure what my place is in the ever changing kink scene.  Even when I’ve been involved with Totally OUTRight through ACT –   how I present which has not been as well organized or thought out as well as it has been in the past.

When I stepped down from my title year I gave a commitment to my community, that I wasn’t going away, and I don’t feel like I’ve been true to that commitment.

I am very much hoping that I can get back to it.

What is clear to me is that I’ve found similar extended family, to the family I am part of, in another part of the world.  An amazing connection of brotherhood and kinship I hope to foster and maintain.

Pantheon of Leather: Canadian Award

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The Pantheon of Leather awards were announced today in The Leather Journal. I believe the printed newspaper was released July 30th or 31st, and the online edition was updated today.

As posted on Facebook, I am completely floored, honoured and humbled to get the news that I have been awarded the Pantheon of Leather Canadian Award. There have been so many people behind me and I thank them. This award is for all of you and the role you played in my life!

Even up until yesterday, I was saying to people, “There’s no way in hell I’m going to win that award.”  There were some significant names on the list of nominees this year, and a significant number of names on that list as past winners.  There are so many people that I know who should be recognized for their community involvement and I hope to see their names on the list.

As I said there have been so many people behind me who have pushed me along in my leather life, internationally, who have helped me to grow as a man and I was reflecting on this after a chat I had on Sunday night in San Francisco with a Master I highly respect, and on the way home from San Francisco on Monday.

I know I’m going to forget names in this list – I apologize, mea culpa, but here we go:  My partner Scott, Master Chuck and Thug Rocco, Master Chuck’s family, Brandon and Dan (Producers of Eastern Canada LeatherSIR/Leatherboy), Brad Hill, Dan Perry, Master Tony, Daddy David, David Coburn, Matt Pavelich, Chris Holmgren, Duncan MacLachlan, Master Peter Kinchloe and cub,  Sir Marc, Connor, Dwayne Bryk, Ian, boys matt, marc, & al; Steve, Matt, Justin, Chaz, Dart, Victoria Windsor, The Rochester Rams, Spearhead, The Ottawa Knights, Bear Hug UK, The Black Eagle staff… and so many more.

Years ago when I was a very very young Leatherman, I admit to having looked at Pantheon with somewhat of a cynical eye and skepticism, much like what my attitude used to be towards titleholders.

While it may be easier to sit there and be cynical, I decided to step up to the plate and step out of my comfort zone within the community.  I am always one to try and do my best and even when that may not be the popular decision.  I do my best to remain humble and not let my ego get the best of me.

Most importantly, yes I was very tired and drained after my title year, there were some things that I saw in our broader community that could have lead me to completely walk away from being an active part of our community, I chose to stick around and look beyond the issues and see how I can apply myself for the greater good.  I did take a necessary break and unfortunately work has not allowed me to spend as much time as I would like with my local community.  I am not going away, and you have not heard the last of me.  *GRIN*

It is important to recognize your community and your peers.  We have some amazing people in our community who go out of their way to volunteer and be active in many different way.  Please do what you can to recognize those individuals at the local level, such as through a community builder award; or even at an international level with a Pantheon.

With much gratitude to my community and in service – Thank You!

Congratulations to all of the nominees and those who are being recognized with a Pantheon!

Master/slave dynamics

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During CLAW this past weekend, I had a chance to sit in on a number of sessions related to the philosophy of D/s relationships including Sir/boy and Master/slave dynamics.

In short, I wrote the following on Facebook reflecting on my time at CLAW: “Some people really don’t get Master/slave relations at all. It’s not about breaking down, it’s about building up.”

There is considerably more on my mind about Master/salve dynamics that I get the impression that people simply just don’t get it.

I am writing from the perspective of having spent time as a slave for four out of the eight years of the relationship I have with Master Chuck.

Let’s address my comment on Facebook.  The Master/slave dynamic, just like the Sir/boy dynamic, is about building someone up to be the best person they are, to create value in the person and to inspire confidence.  It’s not about tearing someone down and creating clones of either yourself or the perfect man.  It’s not about breaking someone – per se.  If there is a bad behaviour going on, you obviously want to take control of that and get it turned around.  That said, if you see someone blossoming as they serve you, why would you try to tear that down?

A question came up during the weekend, and I am sure it came up several times, between what is the difference between a boy and a slave? This is somewhat of a loaded question because what may look like Sir/boy to me, may be defined as Master/slave; and potentially vice versa – what looks like Master/slave to me, may actually be defined as Sir/boy – and I can think of several examples within the Sir/boy and Master/slave communities where this applies.

For me, what defines the difference between boy and slave is the level of deference and servitude given to the dominant.  It’s not about losing my identity and completely changing everything about myself to match being the perfect submissive for my Master.  If we were all clones of each other, that would be pretty boring.

As a boy, there are certain freedoms that I have that I normally would not have as a slave – and being the type of boy (and even as slave), I would often test and sometimes cross the lines of those boundaries in appropriately, and it was dealt with.  That said, there are always consequences to actions and what may get a boy into a lighter level of trouble, may get a slave in to a deeper level of trouble.  The key thing is, the relationship is defined between Master and slave, and typically with a contract – which provides and ensures clarity on the expected behaviours.

I have a further concern about submissives not being heard within the various seminars as observed by my own experiences, and the experiences of others at CLAW, and specifically the potential opinions of slaves being dismissed.  To be clear, I am not criticizing CLAW, I’m using CLAW as the example because it is the most recent event I attended.  Incidentally, as a side note, CLAW rocked this year – please do consider attending next year

W/we – as a community; W/we – as people who are hungry for information about “how to do” D/s and Master/slave; WE ARE MISSING 50% of the information from some of the wisest people in Master/slave dynamics – the slaves themselves – who often know just as much about relationship dynamics as their dominant counterparts, especially those who have been in D/s relationships for a long time.  I know this is a deep a concern for my partner’s Alpha Slave.

One of the biggest helpers on my journey to becoming Master Chuck’s slave six years ago was reading Jack Rinella’s “Becoming a slave”, and hearing the various anecdotes of Jack’s slave, Patrick.  It helped to shape an aspect of who I was as a slave, and who I am as a boy.  It also allowed for not only a top-down approach to my training but also a bottom-up approach if you will, creating a well-rounded healthy approach to voluntary servitude – which is really what the Master/slave dynamic really is – anyone can walk away at any time.  Without Patrick’s perspective, I would only have the dominant’s perspective.

I am concerned about the Master who, reportedly, said that he didn’t need to apologize to his slave.  I can guarantee you that if Master Chuck did not apologize for mistakes He has made at times that I would no longer be His submissive – just as if I did not take responsibility for my actions when I have stepped out of line, I would no longer be His submissive.  I recognize that Master Chuck is human as am I, and as such, it is human nature to err.

I sure hope that the slave that did speak their mind when asked, saying that they would appreciate hearing the occasional apology from their Master, was not chastised (emotionally, mentally or physical) but appreciated otherwise we are talking about emotional, mental and potentially physical abuse – and that is not something our community takes lightly.  Instead, I hope it brought Master and slave closer together and has tightened a potentially beautiful bond.

If I were a first time attendee at an event where, as a submissive, I was considering putting together some form of presentation for a future year, based on some of the observations I have made, along with others within my Leather family, I would be questioning it.   Thankfully, I have had other experiences where seminars I have presented have been well attended, despite being a submissive – which, I know, early on was actually a concern for me.

Over the past two years of attending CLAW, I have noticed that seminars that are oriented towards covering D/s relationships tend to be organized by dominants:

  • Sirs and boys created by Sir John Krikorian – 2010 and 2011
  • Transition from BDSM to Master/slave by Master Taino – 2010 and 2011
  • boys in the Leather Community by Jim Raymond – 2010

No disrespect meant to those showing leadership by putting together these seminars because we need to discuss these topics.  That said, I would love to challenge my submissive brothers and sisters – however you may identify – slave, boy, pup, cub, etc… to step up to the plate and put together a series of seminars focused on the submissive side of relationships, but open to everyone.  Specifically, I would love to see a seminar on “The slave’s perspective on M/s relationships.”

I would also love to see a new generation step up to the plate to talk about these topics.  Again, no disrespect towards those who have educating us for years, but I cannot help but wonder if we need to hear a new set of voices sharing themselves and their experiences, and I think some of those who have been educating us, might love a chance to sit back and see some of the fruits of their labour of love.

So those are my insights and thoughts.  While I may no longer be in a Master/slave dynamic, I am still passionate about ensuring people understand what the M/s dynamic actually is and what it is not.  It is a beautiful dynamic.

Step Down Speech

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Firstly, I’d like to thank all the dead people who helped me to practice
my speech for the International LeatherSIR/Leatherboy competition in San Francisco.  boy ian, Eastern Canada Leatherboy 2010 and International Leatherboy 2010 invited me over to his work – a funeral home – to practice my speech.  Thanks!

Thank You to Master Chuck for being not only my Sir of 8 years but also
TitleSIR for the past year, and for putting up with me.

Brandon and Dan – thank you for being who you are within the community and for your work on ECLSb, Rough House and for being the best producers of any LeatherSIR/Leatherboy competition.

To my partner Master Scott, who dealt with the long periods of me being
away as I traveled not only with the title but often with a work trip
taking place just before or after a title trip.

To my brothers in Master Chuck’s Leather Family who stood by us, thank you for listening to me gripe about things I was seeing in my travels however there are three individuals who I want to specifically recognize and I’d like you to come up to the stage when I call your name

  • slave Eric, for everything that he does to help keep Sir organized which benefits all of us and has done for many years.
  • my former boy matt, North American Bootblack 2008, for looking after Sir’s Leathers, for being a guide as I looked after my own Leathers, and for putting us up during O/our first trip
  • Sir David for helping Sir and I be prepared at CLAW and Mr. Leather Ottawa.  We could not have survived those weekends without Your assistance Sir
  • slave Joe for helping Sir and I during ILSb and Western Canada LeatherSIR, and even this weekend – and also for being one of my mentors.

Now let’s talk about the year –

  • Firstly, the titleholder curse did make an appearance – as a boy I have done more topping this year at play parties than I have bottoming.  That said, I’m not complaining and I’m not going to say that this needs to change – after all, why shouldn’t boys top and why should subs receive all the pleasure? *GRIN*  There’s nothing hotter than being ordered to top.
  • There were new lows (259lbs – first time in 15 years) and highs (282lbs)
  • I never thought I’d ever be tied up with people trying to bat a ball at my nuts, which happened at CLAW.
  • Who knew that all eyes would be on Sir and me as Sir kicked and stomped me at ILSb as I yelled, “FUCK YOU!”.  As Dan tweeted – “His voice said fuck you, his eyes say more please Sir”.
  • Most importantly I’ve been able to branch out and explore new kinds of play
    • More bondage!
    • Rubber sleep sacks
    • Edging and straight jackets
    • Electro!
    • I have become much more of a boot man and boy, and have an appreciation for all kinds of boots.
  • We travelled a lot – together and separate
    • Sudbury
    • North Bay
    • Detroit
    • Erie
    • Cleveland
    • Ottawa
    • Chicago
    • Calgary
    • San Francisco
    • Portland among the other destinations I hit for work and personal reasons.
  • We did a lot
    • Judged MI LSb
    • Attended CLAW and assisted with their fundraisers
    • Co-hosted Kink in the City – A fundraiser for Toronto PWA Foundation
    • Crude Weekend – Kicked up The Point
    • Toroto Pride – And showed Toronto what Leather was all about – and they lapped it up.  Kudos to Reuters!
    • Toronto Leather Pride – Saw one of the largest attendances of any seminar
    • Tease – Where we showed who we are to the pan community, eager to learn
    • M Cuir Ottawa/Mr Leather Ottawa- Paying homage to my old stomping grounds
    • American Brother Hood Weekend – Putting a Canadian face to Leather
    • Judging Western Canada LeatherSIR/boy and promoting Canadian unity and brotherhood
    • And somewhere in there was a small contest called International
    • LeatherSir/boy where people seem to have completely forgotten the concept of cowboy movies. *GRIN*
  • Most importantly I re-found my voice in teaching in our community and I appreciate Master Chuck standing by me during the seminars that we presented.

This has been the year of great personal growth, fun, good thinking and
some interesting play.

If there is one piece of advice I have to our new titleholders, is be who
you are and don’t pander to someone else’s image.  Not only do we have our own Canadian-way of ‘doing’ Leather which is recognized – the number of times people from the US commented on how relaxed we are with our community protocols was astounding. *GRIN*

As I come to a close, I want to point out – we’re not going away:

  • There are still many kinky folk out there hungry for information and for hot play
  • This is a title circuit I still believe in
  • Kink in the City 2 is coming up on July 14th
  • Revenge of the Subs is coming in March (MUHUHUHU!)
  • And I am involved with So You Want To Be Kinky

Thank you all for your support over the past year.  That’s it.

Blogs from members of Master Chuck’s family

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Here are some great blogs from other members of Master Chuck’s family.  Despite sharing the commonality of Master Chuck, regardless of being sub or dom, we have our own experiences and thoughts on various topics.

Be sure to check them out!

Transfer and closure

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One of the fears many of subs have is losing their dominant, and many dominants have a similar fear of losing a sub.  If you’re not thinking about it, maybe it is something you should consider.

  • How do you bring closure to your relationship?
  • How do you move on?
  • Do you have family or friends you can rely on to give you the support you need?
  • Do you have the basics to live – a job, savings, etc…?

My brother, Master Chuck’s slave Joe, talks about his experiences in his transfer of ownership, posthumously, from Master Dan to Master Chuck on Master Chuck’s blog, and the closure it brought for him.  Well worth a read for dominants and submissives alike.

Much thanks to slave Joe for sharing his experiences.  Proud of you, brother!