Category Archives: Philosophy

Leather philosophy from my standpoint.

Interviews

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I was interviewed recently for “The Dark Side” – a series of podcasts hosted by Dark Angel and KnotNice.  I met Dark Angel at the Milton Munch, and had briefly met him at various pansexual BDSM events when I was active within that part of the community several years ago.

  • Episode 36 – The Gay Leather Community – Dark Angel and KnotNice ask me questions about how I found the Gay Leather Community as well differences that you will find between the pansexual and gay communities.  We also talk about various events including MLT and ECLSLb; and HIV/AIDS impact on Leather in the gay community.
  • Episode 37 – A Kinky Leather Family – Dark Angel and KnotNice asked me about Master C’s Leather Family, which I have been part of for almost 7 years, plus things to think about if you are or are considering building a Leather Family.

It was tough doing the first podcast on Gay Leather because there are so many directions we could go in.  How did we get to this point?  Why did we push boundaries as Leathermen?  History, etc… There are so many things we could talk about, and we could talk for hours.  I hope I did the community proud in such a limited amount of time.

There is a wealth of information that we’ve provided here and I hope that you find it useful.

Thank Yous to Master Chuck for allowing me to speak publicly, and to Dark Angel and KnotNice for interviewing me.

I was also previously interviewed by Sir Dart for Dart’s Domain.  Check it out too.

“How do I do straight Leather?”

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Yesterday evening, Master Scott, slave-pup Kalen and I made our way out to Milton to attend a munch put on by a friend of mine.  This munch has been very successful – surprising for a town of what was 36,000 through most of the 80s and 90s, which is now closer to 100,000.  It shouldn’t surprise me but it is also, in many respects, the perfect place for a munch because you get people from Toronto (such as me), Hamilton, Halton Region and even as far as London, ON attending.  Quite the cross roads.

This friend of mine is mostly straight, and probably heteroflexible, if we were to put him into a box of labels.  He’s also grown up in Leather, mostly in the gay community in that Scott and I have been a significant part of his journey.

We got talking about his journey of self discovery, learning to accept himself as a Kinkster and Leatherman, how he is integrating himself within the pansexual community, and creating a space for others.

And you know, hats off to him for creating that space and for giving himself the space to figure himself out.  He now knows what it’s like to come out of the closet.  He might not be gay, but he is going through the same motions that any of us do who come to terms with not being conventional, not fitting a norm; and all the trials, tribulations and reward that come with it.

He said that one of the questions he asked himself at one point was, “How do I do straight Leather?  All of my examples have been from the gay Leather community.”

I smiled at this because we all go through trying to figure out our identities and how we fit into this wide-ranging community.

I know I’ve often wondered, “How do I fit into gay Leather community?”, “What is gay Leather?”, “What if I’m not a masochist?  Does that make me any less of a Leatherman and less value as a submissive?”, “What if I’m not a sadist?  Does that make me any less of a Leatherman?”

As my friend said, the Gay Leather community is the leader and the Pansexual Leather community is like the wild west – and that’s not a bad thing.  It’s like a parallel universe.

And he’s right.  On my fridge I have two magnets from an event in Winnipeg given to me by my favorite sub in Winnipeg, mutt.  One is of two women mostly naked in a fun provocative position; and the other is of mutt in a dog house looking like a very hot dog that he is.

The imagery that appeals to me is the pic of mutt.  The women, *shrugs* I’m so not into feminine things so it appeals less.

At one level, by our very nature, pan is going to be different from gay Leather.  Gay male Leather is about the masculinity of man on man action whether it’s about the sadomasochism, pig sex, gear or service aspects of what we do.

Pan adds a feminine dimension that will never be a part of the gay Leather scene.

I would love to add anecdotes about the Leather Dyke/Women/Lesbian community but I’ve had very limited exposure to that part of our greater community.  What I can say is, holy shit they play rough and hard. *GRIN* I can say that it’s different – similar, yet different in it’s own special way.

BUT, ultimately the tools and how we use them are the same, are they not?

No matter what part of the community you’re in – you have to follow your heart and be true to yourself.

I am one for both combined spaces and separate spaces.  I like the fact that there are men-only play spaces, women-only play spaces, and places where we can get together and have a ball.

And I also know that the pan community is HUNGRY for seeing guy on guy action.  They want to know how guys play, they want to learn from us guys.  In return, I think they have some things to share with us.

After all, the only person to break a paddle on my ass, to date, was a woman.  The standing ovation and clapping from the Fet Photo party was quite something. *GRIN*

On the road again

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For work I travel a lot. This year has probably been the most travel I’ve done with 28 flight segments between May and November. Yes that means I qualify for some nice perks from my airline of choice. Sweet! I appreciate good service. What Leatherman into DS doesn’t? 🙂

But I digress. I travel a lot to the United States and being from Canada, we have it pretty good – although with the rise of the political right in Canada we need to keep an eye on what’s going on here at home.

While on the road, I like to ensure I do my part to support my brothers and sisters in the US including supporting bars, bath houses, sex clubs or even promoting a safe sex practices when I have a married guy over to my hotel room.

I was in Houston two weeks ago and made sure I stopped off at Club Houston. This trip I’ll get in a good workout at Club Houston or somewhere else and maybe even get some fun action. Besides, the guys are REALLY friendly in Texas – I love that state.

The men in Toronto, and even myself, could learn a lot from these guys.

Connection and balance makes my dick hard

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So there’s been a lot of discussion among some of my friends and online about why people get in to Leather. Some have said, to cut to the chase, essentially because it makes their cock hard, cunt wet, etc…

And I can buy that.

Why did I jump at the opportunity to play with the man who became my Sir and Master? Play with a damn hot man I had fantasized over for 7 years, prior to being collared.

I acknowledge that I have my primal needs – to be used and to cum.

But – I do not believe that is the overriding reason, at least for me. There was a lot more to be offered than just getting my ass fucked, my back marked, and licking boots.

I knew that I was getting into a deeper relationship and one that I will always cherish. I knew that I would grow as a man, and that it would be hard work.

So I would say that, for me, there was a balance between play, personal growth, and human connection.

When I first met Sir, I saw what his first cub and he had from a very brief moment in time at The Toolbox and I said to myself, “I’d really like something like that.”

I craved that alpha-male connection that had been missing in my life and I got more than I bargained for and who knew that what I’ve shared with.

Now that said, when I’ve had cubs or boys in my life – four to date; they know and learn that connection is vital – my interest and their interest would have waned if it wasn’t there.

I’ve had some intense play in those relationships but it’s because the connection that was formed between sub and dom.

When I was in SF in July, I cruised online and had a chance to play with a very hot boot pig Daddy – we had tried to hook up in May but it did not work out.  Yes, I was looking for play as I’m not one for play parties, and I do much better in one on one situations.

What turned out is a budding relationship. Yes I wanted to be at His knees, licking his boots, licking his cod piece and make Him blow His load like anything. But if we didn’t connect during our play, then our play would have been only okay, and I would not have been all that satisfied and would have been craving more from another source.

Connection and balance.

On being recollared

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Today, November 28, 2010; I had the honour of being released as Master C’s slave and being accepted and recollared as His boy.

I made the request a month ago after the So You Want to be Kinky seminars, after having a bit of a realization – one that had been coming for a while but I had to face the truth.

In short, being someone’s slave is bloody hard work – whether you’re local or long distance.  Very hard work.  Hey, even being someone’s boy is just as hard work.

But for me, being someone’s slave and personal property was something I needed to go through, to have that experience to really discover my true self and nature.

While I have (and do) identify as a switch and quite proudly so, maybe too proudly; I am primarily more submissive – at this time.

Truth be known, I’ve been having a harder time getting into that deeper headspace that, for my definition of a slave, should have and it was clear that I just couldn’t keep that up.

I’ve also been letting my slave-space repress me a keep me down.  To be clear, it wasn’t Master keeping me down – it was me.  And it was at my request that we change our dynamic.

So what is the difference, for me, between slave and boy?

Well there is the fact that a boy has more leeway.  But it goes deeper than that.  A slave for me is able to set aside a good portion of that control and drop into that deep submissive space.  Words really don’t describe it well, and I promise to touch on this more in the future.

I am fortunate, very fortunate to have found a dominant who has been able to mold me into the man that I want to be, with a few twists of his own and someone with who, I was able to explore who I am.

I was sad yesterday at the close of this part of my time with Master, but the release and subsequent recollaring feels right and lets me feel free.  I am very thankful for the experience.

Thank you to Sir Scott, Western Canada Leather Sir 2011 and former Mr. Edmonton Leather 2003 for allowing Master C to share one of His traditions with people in attendance during “The Twoo Leather” seminar.