I have to admit, I’m not much of a masochist and probably less of a sadist.  Take for instance, gut punching.  I’ve had it done to me – and I have, in the past, gone down a rather negative headspace; and I’ve done it to other people – and gotten caught up in the headspace of, “OMG I’m going to hurt this person and I don’t know my own strength.”

Even when playing Rugby, despite my nickname of, “Tampax” during my year in the UK, apparently because I could stop any bleeding cunt.  I hated tackling because I thought it would hurt – LOL  For that you can call me a wimp.

Okay, so that is what I thought.

Imagine my surprise when receiving the first blow to the side from a boot from a 6ft3, redhaired redneck from Oklahoma.  Holy fuck, it felt surprising, it felt scary, it felt good and I want more!  And more I got after being an ottoman, being kicked in the side, the love handles stood on, my back pounded, a boot kicking my nuts, and 270lbs standing on me with a pair of Yak Tracks on.

Watching this man kicking someone else’s ass with those shit kickers, stomping, running the tread down someone’s chest and back… it was heavy and it was sensual.  I was lapping up the vibe, drooling from the scene, and was hard.  If I were a leaker, my 501s would have been drenched.

I knew what I was getting into – I knew I could trust the man as others I am close to have trusted themselves with him – word of mouth and the opinions of those I trust in my community is important to me; and after being a demo bottom for him the previous day in a flogging workshop, I had a good sense of his energy – which is AMAZING!

I didn’t know what I was getting into – admittedly, and in some respects it was a good thing because had I known I would probably be putting up all kinds of blocks and admittedly, I would not have spent five hours after flying with such an endorphin rush.

So maybe I’m not a wimp after all, but this sure as hell was edge play for me and I loved every minute of it.  Watching this man work other people over too, was amazing.  This brought body play and even boot play to a whole different level for me.

This is not something I would engage just anyone with.  For me there has to be that connection that I talked about in a previous entry.

I learned something new about myself through this experience, and I appreciate that opportunity.